Sitting Coach Duck

As I sat in the Northwest terminal at LaGuardia Monday afternoon awaiting my flight home for turkey day, I skimmed through my travel reading selections.  Flipping through a newly shrunken issue of rolling stone, I saw the proof I was looking for last Saturday night - a photo of Axl Rose's new face, still all waxy from the skin reattachment.  How four people were completely unaware of his total reconstruction is beyond me, but I'm working on a rough draft of my conspiracy theory.

Fortunately, leg one of my flight boarded and took off in a timely manner.  But, I got stuck with the middle seat between two dudes (double nards!).  A couple of thoughts for gentlemen flying solo:  If you insist on bringing your tuna sandwich and banana dinner on the plane and consuming it, don't fall asleep or you will rip ones the entire time.  Assuming you're a healthy boy and ok with that, attempting any manner of conversation with your rowmates upon waking would be ill advised.  Also, if you are in a band and all the mystique of odiferous fart filled coach sitting is what inspires you to write the lyrics to your future hit single (you should name it Commotion), please keep the flailing of your head and arms to a minimum.  It doesn't look like you are jamming out to anything, and your rowmates will likely grow less concerned, more spiteful.

With the advances of a middle aged businessman and an adultalescent emo boy skillfully thwarted, I had to wonder - was it just my aloneness and the fact that they could in no way get busted for flirting as they would never see me again?  Or, more likely, is my Felicity inspired leather laptop backpack serious man bait?  After all, she did get that haircut and still got to choose between Ben and Noel...

Though my layover in Memphis was supposed to be one minute (not well planned), it ended up being three hours thanks in full to a missing part.  Much later that night, I landed safely at the QC Airport, my plane-side checked bag nowhere to be found.  Luckily, it wasn't my plane dude magnet, but I'd have to call my friends about Axl tomorrow.