Not fiction

Some of the things said in my proximity while home for Christmas could only have been meant to be repeated.  For example, my brother Ben coined the phrase "Huh" years ago, and made excellent use of it over the holidays.   Per Ben, there are two main translations.  The first would be "I have heard what you just said and am acknowledging it, and though I have nothing to say to you currently, I may have a response or comment at a later date."  The second translation is, when pronounced with a slightly different intonation, "I do not wish to engage in the conversation which you have just initiated."  This version has proven VERY useful.

Some other things I heard below.

At a bar on Christmas eve -

Person 1 to E^!&:  How's life?

E^!& to group:  Oh, really pretty terrible.

Person 1:  (Confused, as that's not the right answer.) Oh no.  Why's that?

E^!&:  Well, you know Mr. X died?

Person 1:  Yes, it's so sad.

E^!&:  (Completely serious)  Yeah.  Well.  Now I have to pick up all his leftover work.

(Group stares, all jaws dropped.)

Person 2:  Merry Christmas E^!&...  Merry Christmas E^!&... (continues repeating until E^!& gets the hint and walks away.)

At a party another night - 

Party Person:  Hey!  Have you guys ever heard of a group, I think they're called the Gibbs Brothers?

Later that night, Party Person's father approaches me.

Me:  Oh, hello.

Person's father:  (Through his mustache)  I didn't think (my daughter)'s friends would end up so attractive.

Me:  (Kicking myself for not asking him to speak into the carnation!)  Huh.