Rock of Love Bus with Bret Michaels is the new Bachelor, only with more cornsilk and class

Anyone who googled "Bachelor spoilers" last week, per the suggestion of AG (or their own insatiability) was not toooo surprised by last night's three hours of Bachelor devilish goodness. I mean, in the end he made the right choice going with the more frequent bather. I do blame DeAnna for cankling up to him with her bunk advice in the first place, but all in all the only difference between the end result of this season and all other seasons is that Jason changed his mind a little more quickly after the engagement, just in time for Chris to interview him about it. I also slightly hoped Jason's ex-wife would be the one to beg for him back. Mostly so we could find out if she left him for meth or if there is another reason she isn't keeping her son out of this.
So, now that everyone is comfortable with what happened in the end, I'd love it if you wouldn't mind indulging some questions that I had re: the three hours I'll never get back (and really don't miss.)

1. In the first half hour, Jason raises his arms high enough so that you can see a male thong sticking out of his pants, right?
2. Melissa had a hard time not wrapping her legs around people, right?
3. That kid felt exploited and that's why he acted strange, right?
4. When Jason calls Melissa's family to have a conversation with them about marrying their daughter whom he met while starring in The Bachelor, he started to stick his free hand down his pants and stopped himself when he remembered he was being filmed, right?
5. DeAnna wore a suit to try to get him back, right?
6. Melissa scared him away by immediately telling him what her new name will be after the get married instead of, you know, dating the guy, right?
7. Hands are not appropriate nose wipers. This is not a question.
8. It's weird how he calls Molly "Those Eyes" instead of "You," right?
9. Molly is too good for him even though she always looks like she may have just smelled a fart, right?
10. Jason lives with a three year old in a houseboat on a marina with no guard rails so that essentially his three year old son should be wearing a life vest to bed but doesn't, right?
11. If you thought someone was about to propose to you, you would leave the rhinestone chandelier earrings at home, wouldn't you?

I could be wrong on all of the above, but one thing I'm not wrong about - Rock of Love Bus will quickly fill the void where the Bachelor made its home in my dvr schedule. I personally find Bret's cornsilk wig and the girls' gumption to be a refreshing change of pace after seeing a house full of delusional women throwing themselves at someone they've never met who isn't a rock star. I mean, at least that part of RLB is believable. Plus - my favorite kind of bonus - there's swearing.