Yesterday of all yesterdays

I went to an interview yesterday. Well, it might actually have been a Jonestown II resident visa application process, but I think it was at least supposed to be an interview.

It should not have been such a surprise to me that yesterday was a weird day, since I was required to take a personality test before showing up. This, as Kiki and Bad can attest to, really bit my ass since I was on vacation. Also, I find it akin to being forced to give a DNA sample to your health insurance company (in which scenario I promise to get Munchausen not-biproxy for spite, and to keep them on their toes.) (Sooo just kidding future health care provider.) I felt totally justified after taking the test though, because, per it, I have a highly skeptical and critical nature.

On that note, it has been difficult for me to put into print the sort of brainwashing and bazaarity I encountered yesterday, so does it work for me just to ask you to believe me? Ok fine, I'll try. First of all, they record all conversations, on the phone or in person. Which totally begs the question, who has time to listen to past convos? Also, they have some sort of "philosophy" of expected constant mental degradation to achieve personal and career excellence. (The example that was repeated to me over and over again is that it is encouraged to tell your peers (oh yeah, that's another thing, nobody is technically a boss or subordinate, but there are various levels of orcan kings and dwarf dogs) out of the middle of nowhere, "I think you are a sloppy person." Then you talk it out for hours on end until the behavior is corrected. Were they using this example because they didn't like my outfit??)

They also have their own totally absurd lingo, which they call concepts. But they are really just words. They are far too stupid for me to tell you about, but lets all agree companies don't need their own language. My last interview went on and on for an hour and a half, while the big guy interviewing me kept inadvertantly doing Matt Foley impressions. I am pretty sure he contested the idea that I graduated from college. Which is what most of you are thinking right now, but I did! I totally did! How does one not get fired for being that excellent at wasting so much time?

Ug. So finally the interview ended, but guess what. It was in the middle of nowhere, so I had to sit in the lobby for another fifteen minutes while they called me a cab. Finally I made it to the train - safety! Except then, so excited to get home, I got off the train in a less than familiar neighborhood. I immediately walked through the scene of a stabbing, then witnessed corner boys scatter at the sight of po-lice. I have to say, this felt pretty cozy after what I had been through all day.

The question is, if they offer me this job, do I take it because it is the only job available in all the land, do I see if the hoppers are hiring, or do I write a scathing expose on this place? I can really only do two of the three at once, I just can't figure out which would be least life-threatening.