Yum

In the middle of Hoda and Kathy Lee just now, I had to rewind the commercial for Disney Farm Fresh Eggs three times to be sure I wasn't hallucinating.  Does the FDA know about this??  Suddenly BK's crown shapped chicken nuggets sound healthy and natural, and like a good idea for lunch.

I also had to rewind the actual show to be sure that, during Hoda and Kathy Lee's daily quiz give-away, participants get nothing for getting an answer right, but if they get it wrong they are punished by getting a copy of Kathy Lee's new album.  Which is exactly what I was thinking, but is Kathy Lee really that good of a sport?  I mean, she did announce that her proctologist declared hers the healthiest colon at Today (and its last hour offshoot) last week.  Am I suddenly starting to respect Kathy Lee?  Why is this happening to me??

Newman Newman!

Let me skip the excuses and just admit that G and I watched the heck out of the last Bachelorette starring DoMeinthe Pappas.  To recap that season, it ended with her picking the bigger of two doofuses.  It was really a phenomenally bad choice.  Worse than her initial decision to be on the Bachelor.  

So you can believe our surprise when, on Monday, we realized we hadn't been keeping up with the newest Bachelor starring Jason, the lesser of DeAnna's doofuses.  Fortunately it took absolutely no effort to catch up with the season by watching the last twenty minutes of episode 4.   (He likes brunettes.)  Highlights of that episode were him choosing between a 35 year old mother slathered in face glitter and a woman with actual sideburns (I am completely serious) on a double date (he did the right thing), and, later, his refusal to give out the last rose because the remaining three girls were so bat-shit crazy.    

If these are the last six, just think of what we missed in the elimination of the other 19!  Double Newman!

FYI, my money is on Shannon.

Getting my inaug on

As bragged about in a previous post, G and I made it to the inauguration on Tuesday, and I would be remiss if I didn't at least acknowledge the mission was accomplished.  Some things I thought were interesting:

• Being in massive crowds without loud music or tailgates and kegs is slightly unsettling.
  
• The mayor of DC organizes this thing, and frankly, should have consulted me on a few matters.  (e.g. Lack of signage, providing trash receptacles, etc.)
  
• Al Sharpton attended amongst us plebes, so it turns out insulting the guy on live t.v. did not, in fact, pay off. 
  
• At least one person alive still knows how to fire a cannon.
  

Sorry

but I love this skit from last week's SNL more than House marathons.  

Afterbirth, Facebook

I am not sure if I were a parent that there would be pictures of my kids posted on Facebook, but I guess there's no reason 0-4 year olds should be the only population not on and dweebing it up.  Last week I learned the hard way that one of my fb friendsies probably would not have cared either way what my opinion was, since she went ahead and posted pictures of herself with her girlfriend after their home water delivery, visibly sitting in a pool of the afterbirth and holding the child.  (Successfully proving nothing is sacred and very little is sanitary.)  I desperately do not want to know how they got the water out of the blow-up pool but I'm positive it will be detailed in my fb home feed any minute now. Though I have to admit, this did put an end to all my complaints about facebook being totally boring.

Who didn't think of that?

In college, Sarah Jane and I were going to solve our lack of career inspiration crisis by committing ourselves wholly to the creation of a t.v. show called Who didn't think of that?  Our first episode was going to be about the Kit Kat Big Kats, which had just been invented.  (Really?  It took that long Hersheys?)  The show was going to be a smash hit until, for some reason, we let it fall to the wayside.  (I have a poor man's patent sitting around here somewhere, so don't even think about it.)  

The other day I stumbled upon the perfect subject for episode 2 in a book at the moma store.  Cue up your tivo - I'm getting out the camcorder.

    

Inspirational programming, please

At this point, I'm resorting to daytime tv to inspire me to get cracking on my resume and start applying for jobs, as thus far I have done little more than carry my resume from my bed to my desk and vice versa.  (Maybe if I put it under my pillow?...)  The fact that the Big Three (Erica, Tad, Joe) on AMC may be meeting their maker (Agnes) doesn't help much.  Perhaps if ABC Family were on season 8 of Gilmore Girls (when Paris implements the white boards) I could get a little more from them, but I have five seasons between now and then.  

So instead of tuning into ABCFamily.com for a kick in the pants, I watched the History Channel's special on Nostradamus last night.  Which, oddly enough, didn't end up being the pep talk I was looking for.  It turns out, unless we put our heads together to save the honeybees, we're all going to die on Dec 10, 2012.  Something tells me the honeybees don't care which font I pick to detail my employment history.  (As a side note, half way into the show there was an ad for selling your timeshares, which I thought was pretty much completely brilliant.  Maybe there's a glimmer there?)

Oh my god, Lauer's doing a segment called "Managing What's Left" right now.  I'm going to fold my underwear.