Gordon ordered a fountain soda on seamless web

Which arrived as such:
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Corgi butt!

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Theodosaurus in a mesh muscle tee

He knows where the weight room is!
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Theo says happy valentines day!

And give me some treats, bitch!
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What I Learned By Reading Amazon's Hot New Releases List:

People read Chelsea Handler's books.

Blech

I didn't think they could make the Bachelor boring, but my thinking is - they just did.

Mark it Zero, Curry

If I, she who is afraid of all things germy, think this is taking it too far, then it is taking it too far.  Of course you are stepping in crap and bringing it inside.  Thank you for the breaking news coverage, Geniuses at Today.  Can we go back to the scintillating story on Richard Hatch's tax status, please?