Fwd: Confirmation from Hell

I get these email confirmations about once every three months.  I'm sorry to see my doppelganger down under has cyliacs, and am wondering if this is another sign of the impending apocalypse.  Regardless, it makes me think of a bumper sticker (maybe I'm quoting for the second time on this blog) that Matt once quoted to me - In case of rapture, this car will be unmanned. 

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: <confirmation@hell.co.nz>
Date: Fri, Jun 26, 2009 at 2:34 AM
Subject: Confirmation from Hell
To: @gmail.com


Greetings,

HELL is pleased to confirm your order, and the fact that it has aided your descent into eternal damnation. You'll be enjoying a devilishly good pizza at around 7:02 PM.
Our minions want to make sure they've got the address and your order right.

Order #349518
Order placed: 26/06/09 18:34

Delivery Details:

Phone No:0211562821
Estimated Delivery time: 7:02 PM
My Address
35 Wrantage Street
Westown
New Plymouth
New Zealand

Note:

YOUR ORDER:

1 x Double Gluttony
Double Gluten Free Base
2 x Cajun Wedges
Garlic Mayo Dip x 4
1 x Double Mischief
Chilli * * *, Double Gluten Free Base
1 x Double Lust
Add Double Gluten Free Base, Smokey BBQ Sauce, Sweet Chilli Sauce

Delivery Fee $7.00

------------------
Total Items: 5
Total Price: $71.10
------------------

Payment expected by Cash

Please do not respond to this e-mail as the store will not check e-mails.
To change anything on your order you must call the store on 06 759 0666.

New Plymouth
38 Leach St (Next to Steak House)
GST Number # 92-128-134

See you in HELL!
www.hell.co.nz

Emmy nod

The only thing more impossible for me to wrap my mind around this morning than the things New Coworkers revealed to me drunkenly last night was... (wait for it) Meredith interviewing Cory Feldman about MJ's death within the first 15 minutes of Today this am.  As Oskar Schell would say, "What the?" 

 

It was truly magical.  Meredith's ability to remain calm and straight-faced when she saw his vest absolutely entitle her to some sort of Emmy, eh, perhaps a Pulitzer or two. 

Catch up

I know, I know, I have a lot of catching up to do. I've kicked it up a notch and started temping for the past few weeks, which truly leaves little time for sighs of any kind. Well, except for the sad, wheel-spinning type of sighs. Those are plentiful! So here are a bunch of the good kind, all saved up.

1. The Duel 2 on MTV - the intro to this show is so inexplicably absurd. It brings tears of shame to my eyes every time I see it, then more shame sinks in when I haven't blogged about it yet. I am equally frustrated that none of these people have jobs or pride or personal restraint. Plus, I don't want to watch Brad without Randy. Tori is no Randy.
2. The Bachelorette is awesome. Why does everyone hate Juan? I hate David. He's a psycho, and oddly obsessed with Juan. Jillian is incredibly likable, except what's with the ballgowns when the producers clearly called for biz casjsg?
3. I am so sorry to anyone I have scoffed at for recommending Real Housewives of New Jersey. It should be called Why Nostradamus Was Right, or Real Mafia Wives, or Women with no Sense of Irony. Or Non-Existant Foreheads and the Things You Never Would Have Considered a Cosmetic Solution to Them. Watch this!!!!
4. Read Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer. Not just because Rory likes him, but I'm just sayin'!
   

Stay tuned for when Burn Notice and Weeds come back (in order of awesomeness.)

Digga Digga Digga Doom Doom, Etc.

Hm, so in a quest to answer that gnawing "what the eff is twitter" question, as well as to see DAg's "Cheese makes me sleepy" tweet with my own two, I signed up for an account this week. Just in time, too, as this week lots of Twitterphernalia came across my consciousness.

First, Aziz, the almost but not really famous guy from Parks and Rec (who formerly was my favorite) decided to use his almost but not real fame to blast movie theatres for their screen standards and related costs through Twitter. Blah. This brought me to the realization that if I were almost but not really famous, I'd save it all up and use it to, you know, go on vacation or something peacable like that. Would I bring Twitter into it? Yeah, I'd probably use it to brag about the margs I was drinking to rehydrate my skin from all that sun and seawater.

After that hullabaloo, I started temping, wasting away my days online and answering phones. In an attempt to make solid use of time betwixt calls, I started my research. I got an account, started following Shaq, and waited for an aha moment re: what the eff is going on. I still haven't gotten there, but here are some realizations:

1. Really nobody is using Twitter other than Shaq and people on couches and people making fun of Shaq and people on couches.
2. Shaq is hilarious.
3. Finally I agree with Kanye on something. Caplocks are loud! (He blogged about how he doesn't Twitter, using all caps so that we would know he was shouting, then pointing out that the caps meant he was shouting.)
4. Finally, I learned that Shaq loves onomatopoeia!

(Drumroll) Digga digga digga doom doom I am going home now! (And not tweeting about it.)

Jealous?

Check out what the best boyfriend ever gave his lady friend.

(In case you can't tell it's a charm in the shape of Iowa with a star on Burlington.)

Apt appt.

Q: How will G know when it's time to go to his dentist appointment today?
A: When it's 2:30.

Arre! Books!

R squared and I saw and smelled this guy in full ancient pirate regalia at The Strand last night. So what, when they aren't stealing bullion and food aid, they are busy getting a steal on literature? I would have had pirates pegged for the not-returning-library-books type.